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On turning Twenty Six

Remember this.
Remember the way that the morning comes with a wet heaviness in the winter and how you can no longer hear the planes take off but you are woken often by the way the house shakes when big trucks pass by.
Remember the way that the light shifts along the roof, soft and slow on a sunday morning, and how you live with your best friends but how they sometimes feel like strangers.
Remember this.
Remember the way the neighbourhood smells in the evenings; cold and clear and thick with smoke from wood burners. Remember the way the steam rises off the lawn furniture in the morning sun.
Remember what it feels like to be here.
To be on the cusp of twenty six, somewhere in the first stages of womenhood but carriying your inner child in a safe place within you.
Remember what it feels like to know all that you know, and remember what it feels like to wonder if that amounts to anything at all.
Remember what it feel like to want for everything. These intangible, unquantifiable imagined realities. Remember what it sounds like when you've built them up and they come crashing down in and around you. How they can hurt sometimes, these heavy hopes. Remember what it's like to build things you know can break, but believe in them anyway.
Remember how it feels to be here.



Remember how it feels to be here
Reading the above paragraph and writing this one.
In the swing of being twenty-six, but aware that your soul is much older.
Remember how it feels to feel at home within yourself, how it feels when you like that place so much you take the door off it's hinges and decide to let everyone in.
Remember how it feels to lie in bed in the navy night, listening to the rain on the roof of your in shed bedroom and not feel afraid of everything like you used to.
Remember how it sounds when the coffee is being prepared in the next room. How the cold of the bathroom tiles wakes you up more than any caffein could.
Remember how it feels to expand in love.
You've grown so very much this year.
Remember to feel grateful for the lessons, how some of them were so hard to learn that they left scars, but you can run your minds fingers over them and make peace with them all.
Remember that some of the lessons were not loud in their learning but echo just the same, and that you are never really done learning at all.

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